Content Is King
According to her findings, writing long and elaborate dating profiles is actually detrimental to online dating success. In fact, the most popular men and women were far more concise, using 97 words on average. Now while you don’t necessarily want to restrict yourself to an arbitrary number you do want to keep things short and to the point. The web is increasingly the domain of shortened attention spans; unless the content is extremely compelling, the longer a person spends on an individual page decreases proportionally with it’s length2. TL;DR isn’t just a Reddit joke, it’s how many people treat online interactions.
So take the same advice onlylads visitors that every editor gives aspiring writers: kill your darlings. A well-written dating profile is a well-edited profile and that means being willing to take a hacksaw to it. Be as verbose as you want when you write it… then take another pass and slash it to the bones. Having restrictions can work to your advantage; it means you can’t afford to fuck around. If you’re going to try to keep it to 97 words per section, then by Zod you want them to be the best 97 words possible.
Moreover, how you write is equally important. Not only do you want to write in complete sentences with proper grammar, but you want to make sure you’re using optimistic language. One of the keys to online dating is to be as approachable as possible and there’s nothing more likely to turn a prospective date off than being a bundle of negativityplaining, whinging, even deprecating humor all reads as a giant sign that screams “DO NOT DATE”. There is not a woman in the world who’s dream man is somebody who sits around grousing about how life is unfair and the world sucks and by the way, would you like to touch his penis?
If you want people to be interested in contacting you – or receptive when you contact them – then you have to make it as easy as possible for them and every burst of negativity is the verbal equivalent of putting another barrier in the way.
Understand How To Work the System
One of the benefits of McKinlay’s data mining the OKCupid compatibility questions was that it showed him not only which questions to answer but how to answer them. Without getting deep into the math of how OKCupid computes compatibility (which you can read about here if you’re interested), you want to answer questions that correspond with how your potential match hopes you will. The more questions that match the other person’s desired answer, plus the weight given to their desired answer, the more compatible you are. If you want to be a more desirable match, then you have to answer the questions the right way.
To start with: Clear out all of your questions and start from scratch. Don’t get too caught up in answering questions. Not only is every question a chance to lose compatibility points, you hit a level of diminishing returns very quickly. You only need 100 questions to get a 99% compatibility rating with a .01 margin of error. Once you get past 500 questions, the potential value diminishes; there’s not a material difference between 99.7% and 99.9% The most it will affect is your position in people’s searches, which, while good, isn’t the only thing you should be relying on. But more on that in a minute.
The next rule is to be honest. Lying – or making “joking” answers – is going to only give you false matches with people you’re not actually compatible with. The name of the online dating game is to actually date them, and picking the wrong people because you tried to play silly buggers is only going to waste your time; they’re not going to want to fuck you just because you’re a 90% match when you’re hiding potential deal-breakers.